8 And there were in the same country bloggers abiding on the internet, keeping watch over their readers by night.
9 And, lo, the public relations representative of Chase came upon them, and the glory of Chase shone round about them: and they were afraid.
10 And the PR representative said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people with acceptable credit scores who meet the minimum income requirement.
11 For unto you is born this day in the city of Gotham a credit card, which is the Chase Sapphire Reserve.
12 And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the card wrapped in the best packaging the marketing department could come up with given the budget constraints.
13 And suddenly there was with the PR representative a multitude of bloggers praising Chase, and saying,
14 Glory to Chase in the highest, and on earth Ultimate Rewards points and travel expense reimbursement toward men.