Want to get rich quick? Start a blog!

In the wake of the closing of the Miles for Family blog, a few other bloggers such as Doc and TBB offered their thoughts about blogging. To hear them tell it, it’s a lot of hard work and headaches. But you know what? Those guys are a bunch of whiners. Blogging is awesome! And even better, it’s a guaranteed way to make easy money–fast!

I’m here today to tell you how it’s done. Ladies and gentleman, I present to you my super-awesome Road to Internet Wealth Version 1.0!

STEP 1: PICK A BLOG FOCUS

First you have to figure out what your blog will focus on. I wholeheartedly recommend points, miles, travel, and/or credit cards. It’s a lucrative niche and aside from The Points Guy and Million Mile Secrets, there’s hardly anybody else doing it! Some folks will advise you to pick a topic you’re passionate about, but that’s a bunch of crap. Once you start your blog you’ll be rolling in dough, so who cares what you’re blogging about? Not you, that’s for sure!

STEP 2: PUBLISH YOUR BLOG

Next, you have to put your blog on the so-called “Internet”, which is really just a collection of pipes. This sounds complicated, but fortunately there are many tools out there which let somebody with no skills, intelligence, drive, or ambition publish a professional-looking blog in seconds. The “Internet” is a mature technology so almost all the kinks have already been worked out! Nothing ever goes wrong and everything is easy to use, so there isn’t much of a learning curve. Jump right in!

STEP 3: ENGAGE YOUR AUDIENCE

There are a lot of kind, thoughtful people out there and once they hear you have a blog they’ll be sure to comment on it! Of course, some topics are better than others at engaging your audience. Even though you’ll be writing about points, miles and the like, I recommend you cover one or more of the following for your first post:

1. Religion
2. Abortion
3. Race relations

Lots of people on the “Internet” have an abundance of insightful things to say on these topics and they won’t be shy about sharing. Get ready for a spirited give-and-take that leaves both sides more enlightened!

STEP 4: MASTER SOCIAL MEDIA

Of course, you can’t just publish a blog and wait for everybody to come. Sure, lots of people will somehow find your blog with little effort on your part, but not everybody. You need to master what is called “social media”, aka “Internet 2.0” so that you can attract more “followers” who will “read” your “blog”. The best way to do this is with a site called Twitter, whose users publish posts known as “tweets” or–as they’re known to insiders–“chirps”. Here’s my first chirp ever; you’re welcome to copy the template for your blog!

STEP 5: MONETIZE

There are two good ways to monetize your blog: affiliate sales and display ads. Affiliate sales are a great way to make a lot of money in a hurry! You can make a hundred dollars with a single credit card application, so just three per day and you’ll be pulling in a hundred grand annually.  There are lot of credit card affiliate marketers looking to give hungry young bloggers like you a chance, so all you need to do is go out and grab that low-hanging fruit! And fortunately the banks are really laid back and easy to work with.

But wait, there’s more! You’re going to be writing about credit cards, a very lucrative niche. You should be able to land on page 1 of Google for searches like “credit cards” within a day or two of launching your blog, so adding another hundred grand from Adsense should be no problem.

STEP 6: MINGLE WITH CELEBRITIES

Once celebrities find out that you have a blog, they’re going to want to be seen with you in order to capitalize on the high status that comes with being a blogger. Katy Perry, for example, is a known stalker of The Points Guy. If you do happen to be photographed with a celebrity, make sure it’s with an extremely famous one. Minor celebrities can actually cause your Alexa ranking to decrease.

STEP 7: RETIRE

Congratulations! You’re now a wealthy blogger. The money machine you’ve set up will throw off reliable streams of income for years to come with little to no effort on your part. It’s surprising more people aren’t doing this!