Every time I travel with the Deal Kids I learn something new- or in this case re-learn what I’ve forgotten. Here in Gran Canaria I’ve learned that taking American Kids to European Beaches might leave you with some explaining to do. Here’s a handy list so you don’t get caught by surprise with your own kids.
Kids and European Beaches: 6 Lessons Learned
- Europeans have a much higher tolerance for nudity in public than we do. Of course I knew there are nude beaches all over Europe. I even thought a few women might unstrap their bikinis in back at the hotel pool. Grandma al Fresco careening down a waterslide? Didn’t expect that!
- When I say public, I mean public. Besides the aforementioned kids’ waterpark we’ve seen nudity at the city beach, hotel pool and just about anywhere folks are catching some rays. I learned quickly NOT to say “don’t look over there” because the first thing anyone does is look over there, right?
- The women that go topless tend to be the women you don’t want to see topless. I’m referring to the “Magda” here. Deal Kid at 12 is still in the “Ewww” phase when seeing boobies as opposed to the “Heh Heh” you’d see from teenage boys. Even so, most of the nudity here gets filed under “things you can’t unsee” as opposed to Playboy.
- Swimming “trunks” show a lot of junk. Our resort is about 1/2 British and 1/2 German in population. I know immediately whether to say “Hello” or “Guten Tag” just by the shorts or lack thereof. Every time Deal Kid exits a locker room he regales me with the same story. “Some old man bent over to pick up his towel and showed me his package”.
Down the Shore Near Metaponto, Italy, 2015
- The San Tropez Tan lives on. While I slater the kids with SPF 50 the woman in the next chair is just as likely to be using baby oil.
- Don’t expect a lot of space at public beaches. The Deal Kids remarked on how crowded together the umbrellas and chair were at the local beach. While it will take more effort to find isolated spots, the main drag tends to be chockablock.
Have you had any awkwardness with your kids at European beaches?
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
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This is a hilarious post. I just couldn’t bring myself to do the nudity thing in Germany. But I remember there being a lot of older dudes strutting their stuff at the Englishergarden. No awkward moments, because our daughter was only a year and a half old at the time. But funny for us.
I remember a British friend saying that when he was living in Germany he was almost convinced that this whole ‘hanging out naked at the park after a swim’ thing was kind of nice …until the guys started playing soccer (well, they called it football) naked. That was just a step too far out of the comfort zone.
It’s not so much the naked as the bouncing 😝
Oh my goodness, I just laughed so hard!! We just got back from a French island vacation, and it was exactly like you describe. What I took away from the experience is that I need to relax my personal standards for what is bikini-worthy.
Best comment ever award!!! Childbirth and a frame that doesn’t work well in a one-piece did that for me. lol.
Yup. Felt no shame in my plus size bikini!
I see some very nice topless when I go down to South Beach.
My 25 year old son sports a scar on his knee that he got from a cut when he tripped and fell on a rock after doing a double take spotting his first beach boobies. It’s still a family joke!
I should add he was 10 at the time!
LOL.
My husband and I took our three kids to Israel (daughter 16, son 13, daughter 6) and there was a French family at the hotel, their daughter was topless in the pool. She must’ve been 12, tall and was starting to develop. My son had never shown any interest in girls before (he was still in his “girls are sappy and stupid” phase) but all of a sudden he was pursuing this girl. Unfortunately, she was still in her “boys are dirty and rude” phase and wasn’t that interested in this chunky American boy (maybe his poor command of French was the problem?). I wanted to call him over and try to keep him away from her, but my husband was “let him get his heart broken, its the only way to learn.” I’m certain that him seeing her run around and swim topless must’ve been the turn on.
Love this! Experience is indeed the best teacher.