Seat Etiquette?

[nickelfish1]

Flying from PMI to KEF we had an exit row with a bulk head in front of us on IcelandAir....tons of leg room. I checked in online and that row was the only three seats together other than the last row which were our assigned seats. Go figure.

I put my window seat back and dozed for about 20 mints. I stood up to grab my sweater out of the overhead. The man behind me stood up and said,"Please put up your seat if you aren't sleeping." I said,"I'm sorry?" He said,"Unless you are sleeping, please put your seat up." I put it up halfway as a peace gesture as I wasn't uncomfortable because I could stretch out.

What would you have done?

 

[spamman808]

Hey nickelfish1, I'm not quite sure what I'd do in the situation, I guess it depends on a number of things. Personally, I usually try my best to be aware of the person behind me, but I'm a small 5'8" and it's not too bad for me to sit with my seat upright. That being said, airline seats were meant to recline for a reason. I think you have the right to recline, as you're paying for the seat and are allowed to be as comfortable as possible while still following the airline rules.

You were sleeping and just got up to grab a sweater, so it seems like he was a bit rude in jumping on your back right away. If he had waited til you had sat back down to see if you would go back to sleep, I think I'd feel better about him, but he crossed the line in my book by immediately getting up to confront you. I think you did the right thing in trying to be a nice person and offer a peace offering, but you would have been within your rights to continue reclining your seat.

I think we have to remember that seat etiquette goes both ways: the man behind you should remember that you have the right to recline your seat if you want.

 

[Matt]

I didn't realize that you were still planning on sleeping until I read the reply above. I'd have likely have growled at him if he was lucky...

People tend to not make requests of me when I'm sleepy.

 

[smittytabb]

Flying from PMI to KEF we had an exit row with a bulk head in front of us on IcelandAir....tons of leg room. I checked in online and that row was the only three seats together other than the last row which were our assigned seats. Go figure.

I put my window seat back and dozed for about 20 mints. I stood up to grab my sweater out of the overhead. The man behind me stood up and said,"Please put up your seat if you aren't sleeping." I said,"I'm sorry?" He said,"Unless you are sleeping, please put your seat up." I put it up halfway as a peace gesture as I wasn't uncomfortable because I could stretch out.

What would you have done?

Well, I don't want to start a gender war on the forum, but I have not seen this written about anywhere on here. I fly a lot (over 200K miles a year on average). I know how to behave on a plane. What I am seeing more and more are people who don't. The guy was rude. He could have requested nicely. And you could have done it. Or not. Your choice. Whether you were sleeping or not has absolutely no relevance at all. And people ask me to do things all the time and I observe that this happens much more often to women than men. I am asked to move seats when I am on the aisle. I am asked to change seats in first when a couple isn't together. I am asked to please switch meals even when I ordered ahead. I have been upgraded every time I have walked on a AA plane this year that had that option and yet, unless I am traveling with my husband, someone inevitably makes a request of me. Often I say no. That is my right. Sometimes it just gets old.

Yesterday my husband and I were in F and a woman came on the plane and I watched as she was asked if she would switch from her window seat to the bulkhead to accommodate a young couple who wanted to be together. She said no firmly and you could see everyone get really uncomfortable. I hope I am usually kinder about it than she was, but I really empathized with her. They didn't ask the guy next to her to move.

So to answer your question, I would have been irritated to be asked by this guy the way he handled it. And it would have depended on the seat and how I was feeling and truly how comfortable or uncomfortable I was. Sometimes I have issues with the seats and it does matter what position it is in. And for the record, I am someone who doesn't ever put their seat back, but often has the person in front of me in my lap. I would probably never do this myself, but I am always amused at Stefan of Rapid Travel Chai's solution for that person almost in your lap. He takes his air nozzle and turns it directly on their head to see what happens next. He reports they usually put their seat up a bit. Passive aggressive, yes, but anymore you have to be careful what you say on a plane. People get worked up easily and it is often really uncomfortable dealing with the emotions that happen in that small space.

 

[nickelfish1]

I'm 5'8, too.
Smitty, my husband was in the same row opposite window side so I was only sitting with my children in my row. Perhaps had hubs been next to me he wouldnt have asked. Who knows.

Funny thing, we were waiting to board the ferry to Vestmannejur Island and he was getting off. I didn't recognize him until my daughter started elbowing me furiously. I thought about tripping him for s split second.

For today's KEF-JFK I've booked us into the middle section exit row of the 757. Shouldn't be a problem when I push back!

 

[spamman808]

Enjoy!

 

[smittytabb]

I'm 5'8, too.
Smitty, my husband was in the same row opposite window side so I was only sitting with my children in my row. Perhaps had hubs been next to me he wouldnt have asked. Who knows.

Funny thing, we were waiting to board the ferry to Vestmannejur Island and he was getting off. I didn't recognize him until my daughter started elbowing me furiously. I thought about tripping him for s split second.

For today's KEF-JFK I've booked us into the middle section exit row of the 757. Shouldn't be a problem when I push back!

Oh, yeah. This is the trip where you got on the forum about the Club Carlson points and I said to just book it, right? So glad you got this one in if so!

 

[nickelfish1]

I think it was for Grenada...and I booked it and the airfare for next March! So glad I did...and will be more glad once March rolls around!!!

 

[guybrush3pw00d]

And for the record, I am someone who doesn't ever put their seat back, but often has the person in front of me in my lap. I would probably never do this myself, but I am always amused at Stefan of Rapid Travel Chai's solution for that person almost in your lap. He takes his air nozzle and turns it directly on their head to see what happens next. He reports they usually put their seat up a bit. Passive aggressive, yes, but anymore you have to be careful what you say on a plane. People get worked up easily and it is often really uncomfortable dealing with the emotions that happen in that small space.

Even though I'm quite tall, I very rarely put my seat back. If I do, it's probably just a little bit and put it right back up when I'm no longer trying to sleep. I try to be as conscientious around others, especially in such tight quarters. That idea about the air blower is amusing, I may have to try that if the person in front is being obnoxious and has their seat in full recline the entire flight even while eating (yes, this has happened to me before).

 

[Matt S NYC]

I firmly believe I have a right to recline my seat in any and all circumstances, and usually do. That said, I always look behind me and if there is a tall person who looks like they might die if I do it, I will abstain for his/her sake. As someone who is over 6 feet, I literally feel their pain.

 

[Ski4ever]

I firmly believe you can recline your seat - it's part of the seat and what you pay for. If you want extra space pay for it (e+, F) - if not, tough luck. I'm 6'2 and I deal fine with those reclining their seats.

With that said, in that awkward situation I'm not sure what I'd do - the guy could always act like a child, kick your seat and make for an uncomfortable ride. I try to put myself in his shoes - he could've been having a really rough day, who knows. No excuse, but at least a reason one can sympathize with. In reality I probably would've acknowledged he said that and put my seat fully reclined.

 

[Mtshastajane]

For those with a very high tolerance for profanity, you could check out the Jim Jefferies sketch on airplane etiquette as it relates to armrests...

 

[MickiSue]

I've been asked to move more often than I really want, too. If it's not an issue, I have no problem with it. But if I'm being asked to give up my aisle seat for a center or window? Nope. Not gonna do it. I chose the aisle because I like the aisle.

But this guy? I am old enough that I don't intimidate easily, and I probably would have just said, "Who said I was done sleeping? I'll put my seat up when I am ready, thank you." The only time that it might be reasonable, IMO, to ask (not direct) someone to put the seat up is if you are trying to eat your meal.

 

[janetdoe]

What would you have done?

"Sorry, I prefer to have my seat reclined unless I am eating," or maybe just, "No." depending on his tone.

If someone is ridiculously tall and polite, I will usually oblige. But someone making up bizarre rules and snippily expecting me to obey them? Not so much.

... being obnoxious and has their seat in full recline the entire flight even while eating (yes, this has happened to me before).

I agree it is quite reasonable to ask/expect someone to un-recline their seat during meal service. I have been on some airlines that make an announcement for everyone to put their seat upright during the meal, and I really appreciate that.

 

[Timmrewards]

Could be worse...could be sitting next to someone who smells like they don't believe in bathing, puts down lots of whiskey, breathes heavily on you, then sneezes on half of your face.

 

[Max]

I mean, did the seats lean particularly far back? Or was it just the regular amount?

He really should have just dealt with it. People lean seats back. It happens.