After two months of adjusting to a new addition, we’re back on the road again. No flying, but after a two hour drive we’re in our favorite local weekend destination: Portland, Maine. We’re back at the Hyatt Place Old Port (no suite though this time), and even if the rest of the weekend is a bust I’d already consider this trip a success. I’ll have more on that later, but wanted to write a quick post about a random “issue” I have.

For some reason, I have a major philosophical opposition towards paying for parking. It goes beyond just saving money, I think, I just go very far out of my way not to pay for parking at all. I’ll circle in Chinatown for 45 minutes before paying $10 to park in a garage.

How this relates to our trip to Portland is due to the $18 valet parking charge at the Hyatt Place. Last time we were here we arrived on Saturday and stayed on Sunday and Memorial Day, so I was able to street park for free after 6 PM. Arriving on a Friday night, I’m going to have to deal with parking all day tomorrow.

Still, I refused to pay the $18 for the convenience of parking. I hate valet parking in general, since I like having access to my car immediately. Though you can see the foolishness in that kind of thinking since I can’t have my car immediately if it’s parked on the street blocks away.

Instead of paying $18, I’m going to move my car all throughout the day tomorrow, probably paying about $10 in parking altogether at meters. Now that I’m typing that out it seems even stupider that I didn’t pay for parking, and that’s not even including the fact that I’m risking a ticket if I don’t get back to my car in time.

Theoretically, I feel like chasing these tiny dollars, especially when it comes at the cost of a ton of convenience and with a decent amount of risk, is completely stupid. In practice, I just can’t bring myself to pay the parking fee. Am I crazy? Do other people treat paid parking in a similar fashion? Or are there other areas where you save a few pennies even though it’s basically irrational? I’d love to know.

Oh, and I should add, I blew all the money I saved on parking on like, four oysters. Delicious, though.

What lengths will people go to to save a dollar?

There is small group of like minded individuals who are afflicted by a condition that can only be characterized in two words: “The Obsession.”

The Obsession drives people to do crazy things for a dollar. Obsessists, who are otherwise perfectly sane people, spend more time at Walmart than a sane person should. In fact, they go out of their way to go to Walmart. They LOVE Walmart. And they hate Walmart.

Obsessists will go to any lengths to save a dollar. They will waste three hours of their time to buy 28 Disney gift cards in order to save $20. This doesn’t even include the six hours of research it takes to figure out how to save that $20.

Is someone you know taking money for free? You can be sure that person is an Obsessist.

Whenever a new rewards program is announced, you can be sure an Obsessist will be there to figure out how to buy as many Xboxes as possible. In fact, Obsessists will go to any length for a deal – including visiting cities that aren’t worthy of hosting the Olympics just to make some money. In fact, a dream vacation for someone afflicted by The Obsession is any city that contains a strip mall with a Staples, Target, Walmart, and Kroger.

Obsessists know the best way to fill up their own gas. And how to never miss an AMEX Offer.

Obsessists are the only people in the entire world who read Terms and Conditions.

One well known characteristic of The Obsession is the existence of imaginary friends. Kate. Birds. Twitter followers. Helpful Walmart CSRs.

You can always tell when a group of Obsessists gets together. They eat, drink, and chat like regular people. But you can identify groups of Obsessists by the one telltale moment that occurs every time they get together. Regardless of age, gender, or any other identifying characteristics, during a gathering of Obsessists, everyone inevitably pulls all of their credit cards out to compare and contrast. And then they argue about opportunity cost.

The Obsession manifests itself in different ways. Some Obsessists love cold, hard cash. Others like to travel as much as possible as cheaply as possible. Others love to travel in luxury at a great savings over face value. Others just love gaming the system.

That means there is diversity amongst the Obsessist pool. At any given time, three Obsessists might be utilizing The Obsession to realize three different goals. This protects The Obsession from burning out too quickly. Multiple avenues, multiple revenue streams, multiple ways to survive.

Which is important, because one thing about Obsessists – they can be fiercely territorial. The Obsession is a condition that wants to stay hidden, away from the prying eyes of those who would destroy the Obsessists. Every time a deal gets outed, Obsessists weep. Even those who have only been at it for six months. Especially those.

But that’s the thing about Obsessists. Sometimes they can blow things out of proportion. Like the number of people who read Rolling Stone. Or the number of people who watch Nightline, or live TV at all for that matter. Or the number of people who actually read Rolling Stone who actually can put the time in to be part of The Obsession. Or the number of clubs that still play the Macarena. Rest assured, true Obsessists don’t even have time to read. Or watch TV. Or do the Macarena. Or take care of their children. Sometimes.

Becoming a true Obsessist requires dedication. Hard work. Organization. Free time. The true Obsessist never gives up – there is always a deal to be had. When one deal dies, there’s always another one around the corner.

It’s true – The Obsession has gotten harder as time has gone on. More people have tried to become Obsessists, meaning there is at times less profit to be made. Windows close faster than before. The internet happened. Reddit happened. Twitter happened.

But rest assured, if you’re an Obsessist – the game will never get the best of you. You might have to adjust, you might have to change things up, but you’ll come out on top. Because hard work pays off. No matter how much the sky seems to be falling, the true Obsessist comes out ahead. Because they work for it. They earn it. They sacrifice for that dollar. And they’ll get it. Because for The Obsession, people will go to any lengths. For everyone else…it’s just a hobby.

In some ways, Karl Pilkington is the opposite of everyone who partakes in this little hobby of travel hacking. For starters, he really hates to travel. In fact, he seems to hate trying anything new. He’s like that friend of yours who would be perfectly content sitting on his couch all day. He also doesn’t have to do any “hacking” – it’s his job (for this TV series at least) to be sent to travel around the world and thus all his travel is paid for. Except he absolutely hates it.

But let’s take a step back. An Idiot Abroad is a television program that aired on Sky in the UK from 2010-2012, so in that sense it’s a bit dated. But as far as I’m concerned, it’s timeless. It comes from the minds of Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, the minds behind the original UK version of The Office, Extras, and a whole load of other things. I’ll get this out of the way now – if you don’t like that particular brand of awkward, sometimes cruel, sometimes politically incorrect, cringe-worthy humor, this show might not be for you. But if you can stomach it, the show is well worth your time.

The premise: Karl Pilkington is a “typical little Englander”, which according to Wikipedia is “an epithet applied in criticisms of English people who are regarded as xenophobic and/or overly nationalistic and are often accused of being ‘ignorant’ and ‘boorish'”. Ricky and Stephen, who are his close friends, send him around the world in an attempt to open his mind. In Series (Season) 1, he visits the seven wonders of the world, in Series 2, he chooses items off of a bucket list to try, and in Series 3 he follows the journey of Marco Polo.

Along the way, however, Ricky and Stephen prepare a set of incredible experiences for him to partake in. They are incredible both in the sense that they are amazing and anyone would be lucky to do them (like trying out land diving in Vanuatu) and incredible in the sense that some of them are so humiliating it’s absolutely hilarious (like sumo wrestling in Japan or training with a Shaolin monk). Karl shows up in any given country and basically follows an itinerary that has been set for him and the series films his reactions to the different cultures he meets and experiences along the way.

To say this man is the star of the show is an understatement – I can think of no other person who they could do this kind of show with. They say he’s like Homer Simpson, and it’s apt – he’s a bit of a buffon, ignorant to a fault at times, but eminently incredibly lovable. What I love most about the series is that he is game for almost everything they put him up to even if he absolutely hates it. And although he can sound very insular at times, as you get to know him better (if you were a fan of Ricky Gervais’ old podcast in the 2000s you already know him), you realize that there is some deep, weird kind of philosophy to the way he thinks. And, frankly, his views often are less offensive than ones you’ll see every day.

I recognize it’s tough to put into words what this series is about, so I’ll just tell you why it appeals to me, a lover of travel. First, in the occasions where Karl visits somewhere I’ve been, I look upon it fondly. Secondly, I’m at times jealous of the things he gets to do – they make him hike across the entire Great Wall! OK, I probably wouldn’t want to do the whole thing, but it’s so awesome he gets to see some of the non tourist invaded parts. Third, the show inspires me to travel more – it almost feels like all these amazing experiences are wasted on someone who often doesn’t appreciate them. Finally, it reminds me that there is always somewhere new to go and something new to experience – that’s exciting.

If you’re not sold yet, let me just say one last thing – the show is absolutely hilarious. From the Fear Factor type stuff Karl has to go through to his reactions it, so much of it is just comedic gold. In fact I was inspired to write this and rewatch the whole thing because I saw a tweet on my timeline from one of the soccer writers I follow who had just discovered the show.

TV- The new show An Idiot Abroad on the Travel Channel is HILARIOUS. Highly recommend it.

— Ives Galarcep (@SoccerByIves) July 1, 2015

He realized later it wasn’t a new show, but you get the point. So fire up Netflix or download the program for one of your long haul flights – my guess is only 1 out of every 4 of you will regret it. I’ll leave you with this gem from the man Karl Pilkington himself, which will give you a taste of his genius.

“I never wanted to travel. Didn’t go abroad until I was 21, 22. And now I’ve been all over the shop…I don’t know if it’s changed me that much…when I go home I still like a biscuit and a cup of tea. A cup of tea and dunking a biscuit, I’m well happy. And that’s the right way to be, innit? You can be into traveling but the world’s only so big, innit? So eventually you’re gonna run out of places to visit. Whereas biscuits, there’s loads of em’.” – Karl Pilkington