Family Travel Archives - Page 5 of 12

Jul 12 2017

Preparing to travel alone with a preschooler

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My 4.5 year old daughter M and I head out to Chicago soon for a fun little daddy-daughter weekend. We plan to spend a night in the city on our own using a Hyatt credit card free night and then will meet up with some friends for the weekend. This will be our third time traveling together alone (fourth if you count my flight with the two kids). Might be the last for awhile since her brother just turned two and I can start taking him on solo trips. Now that we’ve done this a few times, I’m beginning to pinpoint what makes travel alone with kids difficult for me as a dad. So let’s a take a look at what preparations I need to make to travel alone with a preschooler!

Preparing to shoulder 100% of the “mental load”

A coworker shared a comic with me the other day about the “mental load” many moms bear. (By the way, don’t click on it expecting a funny comic like I did! It’s just a straight up essay with pictures – not even any satire 🙁 sadface). The comic introduces this concept of “mental load” in a household. I’ve found this concept very useful and I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Basically, there is a huge burden in keeping track of everything that goes on in a household and while raising children, mentally. Then you put the work of the actual tasks on top of that mental burden and those two things add up to be quite a job. It’s a good concept, in my opinion. Here’s a stay at home dad’s take on it (in response to the original comic). Lifehacker even shared some tips for how to relieve mental load from the more burdened partner.

One of the many challenge traveling alone with kids is preparing to shoulder 100% of that mental load. Jess definitely carries more than 50% of the mental load in general, so when I travel alone with the kids I need to mentally psych myself up for taking on her (bigger) percentage completely. What that means for me is mentally going through the various aspects of the trip and calculating the best way to get through them. I’m rarely a planner, but I make an exception for traveling alone with the kids (and Disney World).

Now if I could offer a word of advice to parents considering traveling alone with their kids: if you don’t know how to shoulder 100% of the mental load at home, you’re in a tough spot if you have to do it on the road. Act accordingly.

Booking flights, hotels, and transportation

Since we don’t travel as much as we used to, I’ve found my miles and points accounts building. So I’ve quickly learned to adopt Freequent Flyer’s spend cash last mantra. Obviously, I still care about my cents per point value, but I’m always looking to redeem points first. To that end, I booked our outbound using United miles (12.5K per ticket) and our return using Jetblue miles (about 11,000 points per ticket). These are prices I can definitely live with, especially given the constraint I put on our flights. I couldn’t leave too early in the morning and didn’t want to deal with a connection since I’m traveling alone with a preschooler.

Getting ready to travel alone with a preschooler isn't easy, but in this post I help you think about what you need to do to get ready for a great trip! — Can’t say I’m thrilled to fly the friendly skies again, but gotta do what you gotta do (Photo Credit | Pixabay)

For hotels, I booked the one night I needed at the Hyatt Place Chicago/River North using my Cat 1-4 certificate I get from the Hyatt credit card. While I could have stayed at the Hyatt Regency or even used points to book the Conrad or the Park Hyatt, I don’t need frills when traveling alone with a kid. I just need a good location and I needed to use that free night. Note, I don’t actually think of this night as “free”. I paid $75 (the annual fee) for this room, so about 50% savings.

As for transportation, I’m not renting a car since we plan to link up with our friends after that first night. To save time, we’re going to Lyft to and from O’Hare, which costs more but M and I only have about 24 hours on our own so I want to make the most of it. I’ll be bringing along our mifold booster – no more bulky car seat huzzah!

Luggage and stroller

M and I will have to duke it out tonight. She wants to bring her Trunki, which we love but I sort of regret ever buying. Is it super cute? Yes. Is it super annoying to deal with a little kid trying to drag that through the airport? Also yes. But I don’t want to bring more than one suitcase, so we might just end up bringing that. Sigh.

I also decided that since we’ll be doing a couple of miles of walking each day, I’ll still need M’s stroller. Our Uppababy G-lite has taken a beating over the years, but it’s still ticking and still our favorite stroller to travel with. Small and compact wins the day when you’re traveling.

Entertainment and snacks

Now that M’s older, I’m not super worried about keeping her entertained on the flight anymore. Chicago’s pretty close by, so I’m just running with our tablet (a Nexus 7 from like 5 years ago that I rooted), my phone, her Kidzgear kids’ headphones, some coloring books, and a couple of real books. Shouldn’t be an issue. United also has that personal device entertainment stuff so I might use that on my laptop in a pinch.

In terms of snacks, I’m just grabbing two small tupperwares with goldfish and crackers – again, shouldn’t be a major issue. 3 hour flights seem like a piece of cake after Hong Kong. If you want to see other stuff I’ve used in the past to keep the kids entertained, I’ve included my favorites on my Family Travel Gear page.

Wallet

I always like to empty out my wallet before a trip, though that presents some conundrums. What if I find a MS friendly location? What if something goes on sale and I need to buy it online?

My general theory is that vacation is vacation, so I don’t want to be bound by hacking or deals. Still…I don’t like missing deals. One thing I know people do (and I should get around to) is use 1Password or equivalent to store all their CC info electronically, which covers online deals. Generally, I carry whatever card I’m meeting min spend on and a couple of others just in case.

On this particular trip, I’ll probably cut down to three cards: Jetblue Plus card (working on Mosaic status), AMEX Delta Plat business (sign up bonus), and Chase Sapphire Reserve (all around card). I’ll throw my Priority Pass card in there as well for lounge access and call it a day. Hopefully I don’t miss out on any deals, but if I do, hey, I’m spending some quality time with my daughter.

Final Thoughts

I love traveling alone with my kids and can’t wait to take H on his first solo trip in the future. M and I have done this so many times, it’s old hat now. Sure, I may have to take on 100% of the mental load (for one kid, obviously Jess also takes on 100% of the load for H since he’s staying behind), but it’s well worth the experience. I can’t wait to show M “the giant mirror shaped like a bean” and the other adventures awaiting us in Chicago!

How do you prepare to travel alone with your kids? I’d love to hear everyone else’s thought processes/tips/ideas in the comments!

Jun 22 2017

How to save money on Disney tickets and hotels using points

It’s great travel hacking together with friends, especially when it comes to workshopping ideas. For ideas on how to save money on Disney, I always find myself working with Robert Dwyer, who put me onto the idea of using Thank You Points to book a Disney cruise. We’ve been chatting about upcoming trips and wanted to figure out whether you can use points for Disney tickets and hotels. Turns out, you can, sometimes for a big savings. Note, this post may be too in the weeds for some, so e-mail me if you have questions!

Before I get to my research, let me answer some questions or comments I know I’ll get. First of all, you definitely can get more “value” out of your points. If you use your Ultimate Rewards points to book Lufthansa first class, you can come out ahead in terms of raw cent per point value.

Did you know you can use points for Disney tickets and hotels? You can save lots of money by paying for a Disney vacation with points not cash, here's how. — A trip to Disney can be expensive, but you can pay with points instead of cash if you’d like

But as Bob constantly reminds me (and I think he stole it from Milenomics), book the trips you want to take. Or in the case of families, book the trip your family wants to take. “Value” is a spectrum that takes into account monetary value and entertainment value by the end user (i.e., your kids and loved ones).

Secondly, I may hear comments that transferable point currencies have “better” uses. They most certainly do. But some people sit on seven figures worth of miles and points (like business road warriors). Sometimes you just want to burn points. And, most importantly, using points for Disney tickets and hotels saves you from using cash – which theoretically should help your financial future in the long run (see my discussion with Noah from Money Metagame on the podcast).

Alright, let’s take a look at how to use points for your Disney vacation. TL;DR – Chase Sapphire Reserve gets you the best value. If you’d like the quick version on how to use Chase points, see this guide I wrote on using your Chase points for Disney tickets!

The basics: book through travel concierge

So before I get to brass tacks and numbers, let’s take a look at the basics in theory. There are three major transferable currencies: American Express Membership Rewards (MR), Citi Thank You Points (TYP), and Chase Ultimate Rewards (UR). Each currency can be transferred to airline partners for the aforementioned “better value.”

However, you can also use each currency to book travel. When booking airfare, you get a minimum of 1 cent per point with all these currencies. So a $200 plane ticket costs 20,000 points.

In addition to booking airfare, which can be done online, you can also call the number on the back of your card and ask to book a vacation package using points (or cash if you prefer). This gets you transferred to a department that can put together a Disney vacation for you. As long as you have the right type of credit card, you can pay for part or all of this vacation with points. The devil is in the details: depending on your card you can get different value for your points.

So let’s take a look at which card issuer gets you the most value for your points when redeeming for Disney hotel and ticket packages. I’ll first go through a case study, what the vacation package costs in cash from Disney, and then I’ll show how much it costs in each of the three point currencies.

Case study – Family Suite at Disney’s Art of Animation with 4 day base tickets (2 adults, 2 kids)

For my case study, I picked a random 5 night family suite stay in August at Disney’s Art of Animation for two adults and two children (3-9). I added 4 day base tickets to that (no park hopper). Here’s the breakdown in costs.

As a package: $3199.11

A la carte: $1745.15 (room) + $1448.40 (tickets) = $3193.55 <= tricky Disney!

A la carte: $1745.15 (room) + $1303.56 (4 day tickets but must visit each of the four parks once) = $3048.71

$3000+ is a lot of cash to lay out for a five night vacation, even if it’s a family suite at Art of Animation. So let’s take a look at what it’d cost if booked in points, starting from “worst” value and ending with the “best”. (In quotes because you need to factor in how many of each currency you have, opportunity cost, etc. etc.

Buy Disney tickets and hotel packages using AMEX Membership Rewards (OK)

All American Express Membership Rewards cards, even the no annual fee ones, allow you to use points to pay for your travel. The problem is, the most you can get is 1 cent per point when redeeming for airfare (plus the 50% rebate with the Business Platinum). Making things worse, you get even less than that when booking for other types of travel, like Disney.

To book a Disney vacation package, call the number of the back of your card and say you want to redeem points for travel. If asked, specifically try to get transferred over to cruises and vacation packages (they generally go together). Then feed the agent your dates and type of ticket desired. They will quote you a price in dollars and in points (if you ask for the latter).

I poked around this page from AMEX and found that the most you can get for points redeemed towards vacation packages is 0.7 cents per point.

AMEX wanted to charge $3199.11 in cash. A rate of 0.7 cents per point means the vacation costs ~450,000 Membership Rewards points. If you compare that with the ability to cash out your Membership Rewards as gift cards for one cent per point or for airfare, you might consider calling that $4500. Unless you’re swimming in MR, I prefer the other options.

Buy Disney tickets and hotel packages using Citi Thank You Points (Better)

Since I only have the Citi Prestige and Preferred, I can only get 1 cent per point for non-air travel at the most. Like AMEX, I called the number on the back of my card and said I wanted to book a hotel vacation package with points. If you hold the Citi Prestige, make sure you say “with points”, otherwise they’ll send you to the cash booking agents (incorrectly assuming you want to use your fourth night free).

Citi also quoted me $3199.11 (the same as the Disney package and AMEX), so using Thank You Points would cost me 319,911 points. Better, since you’re getting the same value you could get for gift cards. But you’d still get less value than you could get for airfare (about $4000).

Now I couldn’t confirm this because I no longer hold the card, but I’m guessing like with my cruise deposit, Thank You Premier holders can get 1.25 cents per point. That means if you hold a Premier card, you can book this hotel room and ticket package for 255,929 points. Now we’re talking, since the equivalent in airfare would only be $3199.11.

Buy Disney tickets and hotel packages using Chase Ultimate Rewards (Best)

So I went through the same song and dance with the Chase phone agent, though I should note I spent the least time on hold with them. Chase offered the same Art of Animation room/ticket package for $3251.31 (sorta weird that it’s a shade more).

However, if you have the Chase Sapphire Reserve, you get to apply the 1.5 cents per point valuation when booking this package. That means that Reserve cardholders would only need to pay 216,754 points for this package. That could get you the same value in airfare, but if you redeemed for cash, that many points would only get you $2167.54. So in that sense you can “save” the most this way.

I also checked Port Orleans: Riverside. Again, Chase charged slightly more ($2875 vs. $2867 that Disney wanted), but again you could get the 1.5 cents per point with the Reserve so it would cost 191,667 points.

If you are an Ink or Sapphire Preferred holder, you can get 1.25 cents per point when booking these packages.

Can you buy tickets without the hotel?

One thing to note: you can save a lot (cash OR points) by staying off Disney property. So if it were possible to use points to buy tickets alone, that would be huge.

AMEX and Citi flat out told me this was impossible, but it seems like Chase is a YMMV situation. A phone agent told both Robert and myself that we had to book hotel and tickets together. However, one of the CSR agents I have been e-mailing with quoted me $1450 for tickets (same as Disney a la carte) OR 99,666 points. Two other people have told me they’ve been successful buying tickets using points from Chase, so it seems like a YMMV situation but one worth checking out.

How to decide whether to pay with points or cash

Like I said at the top, I’m sure some people say they would never use their points for this purpose. I can see how people might see this as an extreme version of buying magazines with your miles. Let me offer a couple of counterpoints to this logic.

First of all, when people rave about how transferable point currencies are great because they are so flexible, this is that flexibility in action. Points are not cash. While MR, TYP, and UR all can be redeemed for cash or cash equivalents, in many instances you can likely get more value out of using points this way.

Secondly, these points currencies are valuable but that doesn’t mean using them this way is a waste. Take Chase Sapphire Reserve as an example. Yes, you could use 200K points to book $3000 worth of flights. But, um, what’s the difference between that and using it to book $3000 worth of Disney? Take the trips you want to take!

You could also use those 200K points to more or less book one round trip seat in Lufthansa first class. That indeed would cost like $10,000, but you’d be flying alone without your family. I’m not saying that’s not a good use of your points, all I’m pointing out is that value is in the eye of the beholder. With Chase Ultimate Rewards, there’s so much value to be had that sometimes it’s tough to decide how to use your points. Just make sure you use them!

To me, it comes down to this. Cash can be used for other things. You’ve earned these points to (most likely) save money on your travel. If you use them this way, you’re fulfilling that goal.

Final Thoughts

Membership Rewards, Thank You Points, and Ultimate Rewards points can all be used to book your Disney vacation. They give you the chance to save cash by leveraging your point balances to pay Disney’s prices. These redemptions won’t be for everyone. Still, consider them if you’re trying to cut down cash costs on your Disney trips. And in many cases, Chase Ultimate Rewards comes out as the clear winner.

I still need to try a few things out. Does adding airfare to an AMEX or Citi booking unlock the 50% rebate (AMEX business platinum) or the 1.25 cpp (Citi Prestige)? Or does the airfare get added separately? Also, can you use this for packages in other Disney properties, like Hong Kong or Paris?

What are your experiences with booking Disney vacations using points? Hit up the comments and share your stories.

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Jun 02 2017

Compensations after travel delays: my experience and how to ask

Originally I had planned on lambasting Jetblue after how they handled weather delays on my flight home from Orlando last week. Apparently I am destined to have bad return trips from Orlando every single time. But…Jetblue ended up dealing with compensation proactively so they’ve spared you the rant. So instead I decided to write about travel delay compensation, specifically weather related compensation.

Note that for the most part, airlines usually don’t owe you anything due to weather related incidents. While I’d love to blame American Airlines for thunderstorms, they actually have no control over that. So according to the contract of carriage, weather does not entitle you to any compensation.

Has your flight been canceled or delayed? Looking for travel delay compensation? Learn from my experiences and find out how to get compensated. — It might be clear skies over Boston right now, but that’s not always the case

Still – airlines do recognize the bad optics of major delays during weather. For example, last week in Orlando during my delay, it was 70 degrees and sunny. In Boston, my destination, it was overcast but no storms. Yet bad weather in Washington D.C. delayed my flight for five hours. So while airlines don’t technically owe compensation, I think they understand in reality it’s difficult to look a customer in the eye and say “tough luck.” (For the record, I would be 100% okay without receiving compensation for weather related issues).

Let’s take a look at some compensation/allowances I’ve received during weather travel delays.

1) Rerouting onto a different carrier (US Airways)

Five or six years ago my wife and I jumped on an amazing sub $400 fare from Boston to Madrid. It rained in Boston the night we left. For some reason US Airways flights were very backed up, though most other carriers were getting out.

The first person I spoke to at the airport said we had to go home and return the next day, which wouldn’t work since we planned a three night trip. I decided to wait in line again and the next agent put us on a Delta flight and we got to Madrid only four hours later than originally planned. We also ended up with a nice little layover in Amsterdam.

I only realize now how very generous that agent was, but agents do have a lot of power to get you to your destination, even if it is on a different carrier.

2) Free changes onto alternate flights for same carrier (All airlines)

Generally when airlines know bad weather is on its way, they offer free changes or cancellations. A lot of this can be done online, though I’d say the best experience I’ve ever had is with Delta. Delta preemptively gave me the option to change flights right from my app. I could look at the different flights and just click on what I wanted without speaking to a human being. I found that incredibly useful. If people know of other airlines that allow you to do it from the app, please let me know so I can give them a shoutout.

3) Automatic $75 travel bank credit (Jetblue)

One nice thing that Jetblue does (and did last week) is automatically credit a $75 travel credit to your account if your flight has been delayed for a considerable amount of time. I received $75 a day or two after my severely delayed flight (I got home at 4 AM that night). A friend of mine on Twitter also had the same experience and I’ve seen people write about it elsewhere. It’s nice that Jetblue does this proactively. Yes, the purpose is to build good will, but the bottom line is they didn’t owe me any compensation since my delay was due to weather but they did it anyway.

4) Compensation for night of hotel, car rental, and a gift card (Delta)

My single best weather related delay compensation also came from a MCO-BOS flight. After getting stuck in Orlando for an extra day due to a blizzard in Boston, I rented a car and a hotel room for the night. Delta not only offered me Amazon gift cards for the delays (which, again, were out of their control due to weather), they also reimbursed me for my car rental and hotel room. Excellent compensation in a situation where the company didn’t owe me anything.

So how can you maximize your chances of receiving compensation from weather delays? Admittedly, I’m not the best at this, but here’s how I’d recommend thinking about your course of action:

Getting travel delay compensation for weather delays

1) Focus on getting home first (and stay calm)

There’s definitely room for argument here, because sometimes the thick of the delay situation might be the best time to ask for compensation. However, since I’m normally traveling with my kids, it’s not feasible to talk compensation when I have two ticking timebombs in tow.

So what I’d suggest you do is calmly figure out a way to get to your destination. I generally get on hold with the airline while waiting in line for a live representative to wait in two lines at once. Also, it’s important to come up with alternatives yourself, that saves time. “I noticed that a flight leaves tomorrow at 8 AM, is there any space on that one?”

Obviously if you change your flight, change it online. But first and foremost, make sure you’ve dealt with the immediate issue – being stuck at the airport.

2) Fill out an online form clearly explaining the situation and stating your frustrations (without blaming the airline)

Since my aforementioned distaste for human contact, I like to fill out online forms. Each airline website will have a feedback or complaint form. Keep it simple and just explain what happened and how you and your family were inconvenienced. I also find it important to highlight any good customer service that I had as a result and to remain positive.

I don’t find threatening very useful, instead I try to politely ask for some compensation. For example, I might say something like “I recognize everyone was trying their best but it still was an unacceptable situation. I would appreciate compensation for the hotel and car or anything else if possible.”

I don’t rush filling out these forms, I usually wait until the trip is over and done with or when I have found some mental space after dealing with the stress from the delay.

3) Be prepared to expect the outcome, even without compensation

I like to take a long view on things, so if I don’t get compensated for a particular instance it doesn’t mean I’ll change my policy on asking nicely. Remember, I am talking about travel delay compensation for weather related issues. The airlines don’t owe us any!

So every time I ask for compensation, I am fully aware that I might not get any. And that’s okay with me, I will just bear that in mind when making choices in the future. If we were talking about bad customer service or things that clearly were the airlines fault, I might take a different tactic, but this is how I handle weather delays.

Final Thoughts

In the end, the airline’s job is to get us safely from point A to point B. When bad weather hits, that might not always be possible to do in a timely manner. Still, long delays are inconvenient, so it’s okay to ask for compensation. I’ve found that airlines can be very generous – you just need to remember to ask.

Anyway, this is just my policy. Have airlines compensated you for weather delays? Do you like to ask, and if so how do you do it? Let me know in the comments!

May 28 2017

Hong Kong Revisited: Breaking all the parenting rules in Hong Kong

Raising kids in America means being subjected to a large set of rules about what’s safe and best for your children. I semi-religiously adhere to these rules – car seat height and weight limitations, proper etiquette, acceptable tactics for disciplining your children, etc. etc. Most of these “rules” probably reduce statistical probabilities from like 0.5% to 0.4%, but I try not to deviate too much from the norm. Traveling internationally, however, generally requires breaking parenting rules. Or at least bending them. Even if the international standard of the country we visit matches the US, sometimes practically it’s impossible to follow all the rules.

On our recent trip to Hong Kong, I was surprised to find it’s become a lot more baby friendly than our last visit in 2014. The MTR subway system looks to be adding elevators to every single station unlike some other metropolitan cities (*cough cough* LONDON). It seems like car seats are being used more regularly, though they also seem ridiculously expensive. I saw a lot more strollers, too.

Every parent knows that sometimes you have to break parenting rules, especially on the road. Here are some of the rules we had to bend/break in Hong Kong. — It seems car seats are much more prevalent in Hong Kong now, though still nothing like the US

Still, like I said, practically, we ended up bending and breaking a lot of parenting rules on our trip. To me, it’s something that just happens on vacation and I’m okay with it. But feel free to judge me if you’d like – we all parent in our own ways. I’d also love to hear what family and parenting rules you bend or break when on vacation, overseas or otherwise. So check out my list and let me know in the comments!

Eating – eat whatever you want, whenever you want

I’d say in terms of strictness, I’d rank us above average amongst American families. It definitely helps that my daughter didn’t realize she enjoyed ice cream until she turned 4 (that’s not an exaggeration). She still doesn’t enjoy the taste of chocolate. But my wife makes sure they eat organic things or whatever and I try not to share my chips with them so we both do our part.

With toddler jet lag and the foreign environment, we got very lax about eating. Everything of course started on the 15 hour flight to Hong Kong. When our kids are cranky, the easiest way to placate them is with food and we did that in spades. Noodles on demand (from the airline) and crackers on demand (from us) meant that we fed our kids quite a bit. You have to make compromises to survive a flight like that so we did.

This continued in Hong Kong as we found our son didn’t have much of an appetite while jet lagged. That meant he got a ton of calories from crackers the first couple of days. Not ideal, but we did it to survive. At meals we didn’t make a big deal about “trying everything” until the kids were better adjusted. To be honest, my thinking went something like this: “Should he be eating so many crackers…….oh shoot he’s rolling on the ground better give him a cracker!” For my daughter: “Hmm…if I let her eat this sour patch kid she will let me close my eyes for two minutes.”

So yeah, all of our eating restrictions went out the window and I don’t regret it one bit.

Night time routines – we’ll do whatever it takes

Building on the food thing, general best practice dictates that people not consume food or drink after they brush their teeth. Crazy, I know. Well, one thing I decided after taking my son for a walk at 2 AM through the streets of Causeway Bay was that I’d do whatever it takes to get him to rest. So although I put him to bed at his regular time, I prepared myself for him to wake up in three hours. Same with my daughter.

By hook or by crook, I would get H as much sleep as possible. One night that meant standing up with him in the carrier. It meant co-sleeping with him every night (which I love doing by the way but he will have none of it at home, so haha sucker!). It meant giving him milk at night to calm him down. I may or may not have given him crackers at 3 AM one night, I honestly could not tell you. I definitely showed him a video (La Luna, I think) hoping he would fall asleep watching it (he did not).

A lot of this was because of his jet lag. As he adjusted, I broke the rules less and less. By the end of the trip I only would give him water if he woke up in the middle of the night. So it’s not like if I took a three week vacation I’d let my kids eat cookies in bed, but at least during those first few days of adjusting, I let a lot of the rules go. And that was just fine.

Escalators – that’s not how you’re supposed to ride

Our most egregious rule breaking probably were riding escalators. Yes, Hong Kong has a ton of elevators and the MTR has made big strides. But our home MTR station, Causeway Bay, did not have an operational elevator because the station was under construction (I think to improve handicap access hilariously enough). They posted agents at the escalators telling you to take your kids out of strollers before riding. They also said if you need help you could call a phone number and people would come to carry you up and down (I think this was for wheelchairs).

Anyway:

So our kids rode their strollers up and down escalators quite a bit the week we were in Hong Kong. Am I proud of it? No. Would I do it again? Most probably definitely. If it’s 2 minutes up the escalator versus 12 minutes wandering around trying to find an elevator, I’ll likely take the 2 minutes every time.

Car seats – we don’t need no stinkin car seats

OK, that’s not really true. I would have loved to have a car seat. But since we planned on taking the MTR for most of the trip, we did not bring one. We brought a mifold (portable booster) for M but knew that H would mostly be going without. Now I’d probably never ride without a car seat in the States. If I’m being honest, it’s more because I don’t want to get a ticket. Which is probably why they give tickets!

But sometimes taking a taxi was the only option and so we rode with H in our laps. And, oops, sometimes we forgot or didn’t use the mifold too, so M was without a safety mechanism as well. It’s not something we enjoyed doing, but it’s something we did to make the trip smoother. I understand that some parents would never ever do that and I totally respect that. I’m certainly not recommending you forego car seats just because you’re traveling, but just being honest in admitting that we did.

Why I’m comfortable breaking parenting rules and why I consider you to at least consider bending them

“Rules are meant to be broken.” While I don’t necessarily believe that 100%, I do sort of operate that way in my normal life. Heck, isn’t that what travel hacking is all about? But I’ve learned a lot while parenting, and one thing I’ve realized is my ultimate lack of control over my children and their futures. When Jess was pregnant with our first, I was nervous all the time. What if something went wrong, what if I am a bad father, what if what if what if? Now that H and M are running around in this world, I have the illusion that I have a greater measure of control than I did when they were in the womb.

But really, we don’t. Parenting rules? They are ways to decrease the statistical probabilities of something bad happening, but nothing can bring those probabilities to 0. Parenting in general? Parenting is a way to increase the statistical probability your child will be a positively contributing, functional member of society, but nothing we do can make that probability 100.

So I’m comfortable breaking parenting rules because sometimes that’s the best option. Everything in life is a give and take. Walk 20 extra minutes to find the elevator but maybe your son will be so overtired they won’t eat and that’s bad for their nutrition. Milk might hurt their teeth at night, but lack of sleep might hurt them more. We can’t control everything. So I’m comfortable when I need to bend or break the rules because I know I’m just doing my best to put my children in the best situation possible for them. And yes, I am well aware that traveling internationally with these little kids comes with a bunch of cons – but I believe the pros outweigh them.

Anyway, bottom line is, we can only control so much and sometime we need to make compromises. That’s something I encourage all parents to do whether they are traveling or not. Parenting means meeting our kids where they are, and sometimes that means bending hard and set parenting rules at the very least.

Final Thoughts

Like I said, I’m not telling you to break the rules all the time. I’m just sharing that sometimes when we are on the road we let some of the rules go by the wayside, and I’m okay with that. I don’t think that makes me any worse of a parent (though I’m sure some others might think that!). I’d love to hear people’s thoughts in the comments. Are there rules you break with your kids when you travel? Or when you’re at home? Let me know, and let’s have a mature discussion about it.

May 17 2017

Quick hits: Travel light, pack less with the right clothes

I cleaned out my wardrobe a little the other day (read: threw out one t-shirt) and marveled at what clothes I appreciate the most. When it comes to travel, I’ve found that investing in Ex-Officio clothing has really improved my ability to pack light. You can find this gear and all my favorite travel stuff on my family travel gear page.

Disclosure: Some links on this page are my Amazon affiliate links. If you buy through my Amazon affiliate links for those items, I may receive a small commission, which I appreciate. Thanks for your support.

We try to travel as light as possible, and while it’s difficult with kids, I still remember a time when my wife and I never had to check a bag. One thing that really helped us cut down on the amount of stuff we needed to pack was the Ex-Officio brand of clothing.

While the clothes aren’t cheap, they’re great for travel. Simple concept: wash your Ex-Officio clothing at night in the sink. Hang to dry. It will be dry by morning and ready to wear. Rinse and repeat (pun intended).

I thought about Ex-Officio this morning because I’ve stopped only using the clothing for travel, they’ve become some of my most reliable boxers and t-shirts. I’m also very lazy about my wardrobe.

So to me, best practice is to bring a small amount of detergent, possibly in a GoToob or something like that. Buy some Ex-officio clothing, like underwear, shirts, etc. Bring less clothes than you normally would to save space. Do laundry every other night and you’re good to go!

Do people have other recommendations for good brands for packing lighter? I’d love to hear them in the comments, let me know.

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