(With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)
‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse
I was checking AwardWallet with care
In hope that points and miles soon would be there
The children were nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of gift cards danced in their heads;
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my pajamas
Had just settled down for an epic app-o-rama
When out on the internet there arose such a clatter,
I opened a browser window to see what was the matter.
I glanced at stuff about pricing mistakes,
$9 fares to Hong Kong and PointBreaks.
Thousands of points for new credit accounts
And frequent flyer miles in increasing amounts
When my wandering eyes couldn’t help but pause,
On a Saverocity Forum user named mr_claus
With a forum id so lively and quick
I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his credit cards came
And he typed out each one of them by name:
“Now, Citi! Now, Chase! Now Wells and B of A!
On, US Bank! On, Capital One! On, Amex and Barclay!
To heck with my FICO–I’m getting them all!
Not approved? Reconsideration–I’ll call!”
As I finished reading, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He wore Vanilla Reloads from his head to his foot,
And his carry-on was tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of cards he had in his hands
All held together with big rubber bands
He said, “I gave toys all over the nation
But my Hilton points are worthless with that last devaluation
I have many Avios but I can’t get a flight
Since American’s inventory has nothing in sight
My dream vacation may now unravel
‘Cause I can’t figure out the art of cheap travel”
Though I wanted to watch cat videos on Youtube
I couldn’t help but take pity on this noob
I booked his hotel and straightened out his flight
And with a free Uber credit he finally saw the light
He said, “Thanks so much! I’ve now got the gist!
And you’re no longer on my naughty list!”
And I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”