Folks, I’m pleased to report that for one day only, Barclaycard has given me permission to link to their best Hawaiian Airlines® World Elite MasterCard® offer ever! Why would they do that after our falling out, you ask? I posed the same question to them and the response was something about hitting their numbers for the next month. Anyway, here’s what you get:
- Earn 3,500,000 BONUS MILES after you spend $1,000 on purchases in the first 90 days! Wow! 3.5 million miles!
- Earn 10X miles on eligible purchases made directly from Hawaiian Airlines
- Earn 100X miles on all other purchases!
- No limit on total miles you can earn! Unless they decide after the fact you’ve earned too many!
- Free subscription to the popular “Ask the Hawaiian Airlines® World Elite MasterCard®” podcast
- Revenge on all who have wronged you
- The cure for cancer
- One Chase Sapphire Preferred® card… because First Friday!
- A free two-liter bottle of soda
And if that’s not enough: any cardholder on a Spirit Airlines flight will be magically whisked away to a flight on a better airline!
Act now everybody: this offer expires at the end of the day!
Great offer, but I just saw their new awards chart, and 3.5 million miles will only fly you to within 500 miles of Hawaii, at which point all passengers are required to disembark and make it the rest of the way on their own.
It’s happy! It’s fun! It’s Hawaiian Airlines® World Elite MasterCard®!
Yes, it’s Hawaiian Airlines® World Elite MasterCard®! The credit card sensation that’s sweeping the nation! It’ll only cost you the $89 annual fee that’s not waived the first year and a hard pull!
Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Hawaiian Airlines® World Elite MasterCard®.
Hawaiian Airlines® World Elite MasterCard® may stick to certain types of skin.
Discontinue use of Hawaiian Airlines® World Elite MasterCard® if any of the following occurs:
*Itching
*Vertigo
*Dizziness
*Tingling in extremities
*Loss of balance or coordination
*Slurred speech
*Temporary blindness
*Profuse sweating
*Heart palpitations
Do not taunt Hawaiian Airlines® World Elite MasterCard®.
Hawaiian Airlines® World Elite MasterCard®! Accept no substitutes.
It might be a little difficult getting there using Hawaiian Airlines metal. I heard that surfers tore all the wings off of HA planes to use as surfboards for the Big Waves. Hang ten!! Surf’s up!!
Looking at all the shiny gold watches that you are offering, I have to say that you had me at a free two-liter bottle of soda.
I flew Hawaiian just last week and they were passing out applications for the Hawaiian Airlines® World Elite MasterCard® on the plane. I thought of you:) It is now issued by Bank of Hawaii. For real. Nice spoof post.