Is there room for abundance in your life?

[Matt]

Firstly, I have to confess most books on this topic turn me off in a heartbeat and i've not read more than 3 pages of any... so I can understand if this post does the same to you. That said, I want to explore the notion of abundance as an approach to life.

I was thinking of this recently with regard to a couple of different topics, my natural predilection has been to feel challenged by perceived 'competitors' and to react accordingly. Some examples of these competitors have been:

Other blog networks (First2Board, BoardingArea, Upgrd)
I've found my gut reaction to seeing success in others can be resentfulness. In fact, I almost omitted upgrd in this section, I guess due to general dickinishness on my behalf. The truth is I'm envious of their success and I think Mike has done a great job of arranging Meetups in NYC and soon in LA. However, since there is 'plausible deniability' in being able to silently omit them I could get away with it. First2Board and Saverocity went through growing cycles at the same time so I saw them as a competitive force for a while too. And of course BoardingArea is where I'd like to see us in the future.

People like to bash BoardingArea, but it is just a platform with a lot of readers. The reason i'd like to see Saverocity like that is because there is some damn good content here, and it doesn't get enough exposure.
I get that same feeling of envy when I see individual sites grow too. I look at Doctor of Credit and Travel with Grant (both get more readers than I do on my blog with ease) and I think it's so unfair....

That's a visceral reaction. I think it is built on insecurity, so to counter this I've tried my best to instead of feel this instead look at things from a position of zeroness, and help enable, because it isn't a competition against anyone else, it is a competition with myself.

If the good Doctor puts out great content (Will and Chuck both produce excellent work) then I think I should help it gain even more success. If Travel with Grant gets a 4000 page view day and I only get a 1000 pageview day, why not hit retweet and get him to 4001 views? It does me no harm. And he benefits. That's a good thing. He should have 10,000 views, so if I can help him get there then why shouldn't I?

Don't get me wrong, I still think there is a lot of crap out there. I don't feel the need to promote marketers of financial products, but at the same time I find myself appreciating they have a family to feed too.

What, you don't run a blog network and forum?
So where do you feel this in your life? Is it at the office? Is it at home? Is it manufacturing spend? Are others your competitors or can you be happy with their success? We have a guy on the forum telling me he thinks that there are too many 'new people' being able to find MS and he spends his time trolling threads and throwing in bad information in order to prevent them from learning.

It brings up a big subject for me regarding the forum. I'm not trying to build a fortress and pull up the drawbridge. I actually don't want you here. I want you out there living life and having a blast doing it. I'm grateful for good contributions when they come in and enjoy a positive, helpful spirit of things. That's why there is no posting requirement here, and a casual approach.

I see this place only as a place to help enable you do that, and put no requirements on you for it, other than simply:

• Be respectful of others when you discuss things on the Forum. The way I am planning future advanced "DOs" (real life meetups) in the future will be very much like a forum, and I don't want to hang out with a bunch of entitled dicks.
• Don't republish other peoples work. Respect that they shared here, and be grateful for that.
• Don't kills deals. Take some time to consider how your actions can cause harm to the overall community and wherever possible seek to improve best practices, thinking abundantly.

It is impossible to grow unless you can let go of the me first attitude. If you think of everyone as a competitor then their actions shape your reality, you get trapped fighting little battles like hiding giftcards or burying threads on forums and never move on to find the next thing. You lose energy worrying and comparing yourself with others when really you should just be helping them, and in the process you make yourself so much more successful.

I hope to see you at TravelConOC at the end of the month to discuss this and other ideas in person. I'll be there to help out Tahsir and Omar because they are the competition. I think that there might be a few last tickets available here.

 

[RRD]

Oh yes! Insecurity raises its ugly head when you least expect it to. Just recently, I was on an interview panel and selected a candidate who I thought was best for the position, but instantly the thought occurred, what if this person was going to be a direct competition to me thereby minimizing my importance. I then reasoned with myself saying that someone else's progress can never harm me unless I let it. This negativity leaves deep subconscious impressions which has a snowballing effect and it permeates to other areas of life without one knowing it. Best is to nip such thoughts in the bud and live life positively, and this MS game is such a plus in our lives. I envy people who rack in thousands and millions of miles but I am happy that in spite of doing the bare minimum, I can reap significant rewards. If one can't be happy when things are good, he is sure to lose it when times are bad.

 

[TheAmericanTravelProject]

Well said Matt, and I completely agree. I actually *like* those annoying books on the topic of abundance and positive energy I listen to You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero any time I start to feel the way that you described. It's a good way to refocus. There are always going to be bigger, richer, smarter, other-er people out there, and that has to be OK. Because if it isn't....then you've dug a hole that you will remain buried in. I don't get tons of readers, but I had an email from one today thanking me for changing her traveling life. What?!?!?! I'll take one reader who feels that way any day over millions of entitled whiners who are only looking out for themselves. And yes, it was a complete stranger. Not my mom (she doesn't even read my blog).

 

[MickiSue]

I have had a network marketing business for over a decade, although it's much smaller since my accident. But the idea that the way one thinks leads one's actions is pretty much hardwired in me, at this point.

When I was struggling to grow in my business, and did not have the wherewithal to buy advertising that some did, I would be resentful of how quickly they were moving. My mentor, now my good friend, had a mantra: Self to Self for progress. Self to Others for possibility.

MAN! That was hard for me to embrace that particular philosophy. But I managed, and learned to sincerely cheer the successes of others, because I was measuring myself against myself. In the end, I DID have the progress I'd been so envious of.

The whole idea that someone else succeeding means that I fail is just a variation of the zero-sum theory of life. To truly believe that there is only so much good--of anything--to go around is to fail, right from the beginning.

 

[shoppergirl]

I'm not a big fan of Boarding Area. Too me, it's just too repetitive. I go there to see if there's any new good deals on credit cards, though I don't click through their links. My travel lifestyle is certainly not that of the bloggers. I need a ton of points for my family to take a couple vacations a year. I found Saverocity last year when the MS challenge was going on. The blogs/people here seem more genuine and offer better content than all the credit card pumping that takes place on Boarding Area.