For anyone whose career has taken them to a different location than family/loved ones, any regrets?

Craig

Level 2 Member
Question: If you have moved away from family for work/school and built a life a significant distance away from them, do you have any regrets? I am hoping that people will share there individual experiences and lessons learned (good and bad). I'm not looking for anyone to "tell me what to do," so please, no such comments. Lots of well travelled and successful people here, so I thought this was a good place to discuss.

My story - 31yo, lived on west coast for 7 years, great reputation in my industry and have increased salary by 58% over last 3 years. Missing my family on east coast a lot, but the idea of starting to build a new network, reputation, etc. provides internal conflict. I'm an environmental geologist, and can find work anywhere there is/was industrial activity. Could end my career here (Seattle), as there is enormous opportunity in my field. I plan to start my own consulting business at some point in the next 5 to 10 years, which will require a strong network and connections in my field.

I now have a 15 month old niece and 1 year old nephew. My thought is that I could move back east when they are ~4ish so they grow up knowing who I am, but then I consider how big of a network I could build at a new location over that 3ish year period. My GF/future wife has no family to speak of and is flexible with location. I remember stories of my Uncle Greg who lived in Arizona when I grew up - never knew him, and when he was brought up when I was a kid he was like a mythical person. He died a few years ago in a car crash, still without me knowing who he was. It's one of those lasting memories (lessons?), one I don't want to be me.

Quality of life is unfucking believable in Seattle - but my siblings and their kids aren't here. I love the mindset and easy goingness of people here. My free time is all spent outdoors, and I'd be moving to Florida. I scuba dive and cycle, so can still do that in FL, but it's the intangibles like living in an environmentally/socially/politically devastated place that make me question the move there (or any state near there, frankly).
 
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projectx

Level 2 Member
My situation is much different from yours, but there is the potential for future similarities to my experience.

Just a year out of college I found myself in a lousy job, and having difficulty finding a desirable position at another company in the same area. My wife asked, "where would you need to go to have a killer job?" Being in the design industry, my answer was "New York or L.A.... pick one". Neither of us had any desire to live in the northeast, so I took a job in Los Angeles. We packed up and left Ohio.

As far as jobs go, I had a great one. I was at a small design firm known as an industry leader, working on projects with high profile clients such as Universal, Paramount Parks, MGM Grand, and even a little Disney work. The owner of the company was laid back, treated his employees well, and my schedule was somewhat flexible. We had some extended family there, but most of our family was in Ohio.

We really enjoyed living in SoCal. Looking long term though we wanted to start a family, and ultimately decided our kids should live closer to their grandparents. Not to mention the cost of living is MUCH lower here. After three and a half years we went back to Ohio.

While our family is scattered throughout the state, I can't imagine our kids not being able to see their grandparents and cousins as often as they do. They are extremely close, and boil over with excitement when they get to see them. We would not have the luxury if we still lived in SoCal.

I miss the amazing food, beaches, and mountains. I DON'T miss the traffic and cost of living. Where I currently work is certainly a step down, but so what. I don't regret making either move, and if I had to do it all over again I wouldn't change a thing.
 

cdancer20

Level 2 Member
I live over 800 miles from my hometown. I have been here for 10 years now...oh my gosh I didn't even realize it had been that long!!! Anyways, I moved here for college and then stayed here to look for a job.

Yes I miss my family terribly and I only get to see them maybe twice a year. However, I have no regrets. My hometown (or home state) doesn't have half as many opportunities as other places, including here. Plus the lifestyle is so much better here. However like you, I do hate that I'm missing out of my nieces and nephews growing up and they will miss out on mine. Yet, I wouldn't move home. My SO is in the exact same situation. I have partially considered moving back to his hometown which has a lot of opportunities for both of us and then I'd only be a 4 hour drive from my family. Yet, we are both content in our decisions to live here right now.

I do have one upside though. My Dad lives in the same metro area so I can see him any time I want.
 

Suzie

Level 2 Member
Moved away 25 years ago - see my Dad a couple of times a year. The times I missed them the most was when the kids were little and didn't see much of their grandparents. It gets harder and harder to travel as kids become involved in their activities, and, at the same time, became harder for my parents to travel due to age/physical limitations. Now that the kids are grown and gone, they are all over the country, so there's an added wrinkle in getting to spend time with everyone.

That being said, moving away was the best option and I don't regret the decision at all. I would make the same decision again.
 

sriki

Level 2 Member
Continuing from where we left off with a little background on my situation. I moved countries in search of better education and opportunities. It's been 10 years now (anniversary was last week).

Moving away seemed the best option at that time. I felt the need for a fresh start away from distractions. It served its purpose in getting me better education and a job. But, it came at a price. A price I thought I was willing to pay then but not so sure now. Family bonds are weaker and though I cannot blame distance alone as a reason (people can find a way to keep in touch even while physically apart), it played a significant role. Some of it also involved money. I made way less than what I do now and it severely impacted how often I could visit family. This indirectly caused me not to be with a family member during their time of need which ultimately ended in a tragedy. These were before I got onto travel hacking. Now, though I make more, I can visit family more often primarily because of travel hacks and to some extent the good communities around it which guide people in the right direction when you try to learn this "game". Traveling is still tedious (1.5hr to be nearest southwest serviced airport) and 4-6 hour flight with a connection to reach some of my extended family in the country. But, it helps a lot & I do make it a point to visit family on a set regular interval. I get to be a part of the extended family (usually the younger cousins and their even younger family) but the older generation are still far away and having only few days to spend while visiting them feels inadequate. I do not have kids and hence cannot speak about them directly but have seen enough grandparents and their grandchildren to understand how big of a role they could play in the early part of a kid's life that it is definitely something to consider.

If I have to do it all over again, I will probably not do it. But, it's also too late to uproot everything and go back unless you have enough resources that you can bank upon to make it work. Personally, I am working towards a day and a number after which I can comfortably make the choice to move back. Quality of life & work does come into the picture here and it can be a mixed bag depending on where you are moving from and where to.
 

haserfauld

Level 2 Member
Interesting dilemma, and one I find myself in as well. Currently living in SoCal, where I've lived my whole life. My parents are here, but my two siblings both moved back east (southern VA), one in 2003 and one in 2009. I met my wife back there, but she moved out here before we got married. I'm 28, and looking at what we want out of life. We're strongly considering a move back east (Raleigh, NC), as a blend of things:

1) Cost of Living -- in SoCal, buying a house/starting a family will guarantee need for two incomes. Not the route we want to go
2) Proximity to family -- My brothers, my 6 nephews/nieces, my wife's brother and parents are all within 100 miles of Raleigh
3) Politics/Laws/Taxes/Traffic/other -- I'm in Orange County. Anyone that's lived here probably can tell what bugs me about that list

I have very little network there, but I'm in finance/healthcare, and I think I could build something. It's scary, but I think for a lot of people, pursuit of career maximization and wealth often comes at the expense of family and inter-personal development, and I would wager more people look back on their lives wishing they had spent time with family than wishing they had taken that out-of-state promotion.

Not saying the two are mutually exclusive, or that everyone feels that way. Just my take. When it comes down to it, relationship > wealth (in my mind), as long as you're able to live comfortably and within your means.
 

projectx

Level 2 Member
It's scary, but I think for a lot of people, pursuit of career maximization and wealth often comes at the expense of family and inter-personal development, and I would wager more people look back on their lives wishing they had spent time with family than wishing they had taken that out-of-state promotion.

Not saying the two are mutually exclusive, or that everyone feels that way. Just my take. When it comes down to it, relationship > wealth (in my mind), as long as you're able to live comfortably and within your means.
This, +1000. I could take a job that pays more with better benefits, but at what cost? I make a decent living, have a flexible schedule, live 10 minutes away from work, average less than 45 hours a week (peaks and valleys, but overall) even in a director position, only have to work on the weekend a couple times a year, rarely get calls after hours, and completely unplug when on vacation. For me, that is gold. I have many friends that run ragged all year long and merely tolerate what they do for a living. I don't love or hate my job, but given all I mentioned with three young kids at home it's not a bad gig.
 

Craig

Level 2 Member
Interesting dilemma, and one I find myself in as well. Currently living in SoCal, where I've lived my whole life. My parents are here, but my two siblings both moved back east (southern VA), one in 2003 and one in 2009. I met my wife back there, but she moved out here before we got married. I'm 28, and looking at what we want out of life. We're strongly considering a move back east (Raleigh, NC), as a blend of things:

1) Cost of Living -- in SoCal, buying a house/starting a family will guarantee need for two incomes. Not the route we want to go
2) Proximity to family -- My brothers, my 6 nephews/nieces, my wife's brother and parents are all within 100 miles of Raleigh
3) Politics/Laws/Taxes/Traffic/other -- I'm in Orange County. Anyone that's lived here probably can tell what bugs me about that list

I have very little network there, but I'm in finance/healthcare, and I think I could build something. It's scary, but I think for a lot of people, pursuit of career maximization and wealth often comes at the expense of family and inter-personal development, and I would wager more people look back on their lives wishing they had spent time with family than wishing they had taken that out-of-state promotion.

Not saying the two are mutually exclusive, or that everyone feels that way. Just my take. When it comes down to it, relationship > wealth (in my mind), as long as you're able to live comfortably and within your means.
This reminds me of a statement I once heard from a geriatric nurse - of all the things she heard people say on their death beds, never did she hear 'I wish I would have worked more.'

Thanks for your post.
 

smittytabb

Moderator
Staff member
Question: If you have moved away from family for work/school and built a life a significant distance away from them, do you have any regrets? I am hoping that people will share there individual experiences and lessons learned (good and bad). I'm not looking for anyone to "tell me what to do," so please, no such comments. Lots of well travelled and successful people here, so I thought this was a good place to discuss.

My story - 31yo, lived on west coast for 7 years, great reputation in my industry and have increased salary by 58% over last 3 years. Missing my family on east coast a lot, but the idea of starting to build a new network, reputation, etc. provides internal conflict. I'm an environmental geologist, and can find work anywhere there is/was industrial activity. Could end my career here (Seattle), as there is enormous opportunity in my field. I plan to start my own consulting business at some point in the next 5 to 10 years, which will require a strong network and connections in my field.

I now have a 15 month old niece and 1 year old nephew. My thought is that I could move back east when they are ~4ish so they grow up knowing who I am, but then I consider how big of a network I could build at a new location over that 3ish year period. My GF/future wife has no family to speak of and is flexible with location. I remember stories of my Uncle Greg who lived in Arizona when I grew up - never knew him, and when he was brought up when I was a kid he was like a mythical person. He died a few years ago in a car crash, still without me knowing who he was. It's one of those lasting memories (lessons?), one I don't want to be me.

Quality of life is unfucking believable in Seattle - but my siblings and their kids aren't here. I love the mindset and easy goingness of people here. My free time is all spent outdoors, and I'd be moving to Florida. I scuba dive and cycle, so can still do that in FL, but it's the intangibles like living in an environmentally/socially/politically devastated place that make me question the move there (or any state near there, frankly).
My husband and I raised our family in a state about equidistant from each of our families. Our children don't know their cousins well and we basically had no help as they were growing up. It is not ideal but at the same time we now realize that we made our own life. Everything that is right or wrong was ours. You cannot live your life for someone else. But I sometimes wonder what it is like for those who have close families. At the end of the day, I wouldn't change anything because when we got married almost 37 years ago, we decided to carve out a life that was ours and we never did anything but that. And it has been by anyone's standards a great life.
 
This is a forum where people accumulate hundreds of thousands of airline miles. Get that going and you/kids always have the opportunity to visit other states.
 

Craig

Level 2 Member
This is a forum where people accumulate hundreds of thousands of airline miles. Get that going and you/kids always have the opportunity to visit other states.
I've been doing that for years, and it's starting to continually leave me unsatisfied. Long weekend trips to the east coast are starting to get pretty old. Your comment actually made me realize that just visiting family as they get older isn't what I'm looking for, so thanks.
 

Suzie

Level 2 Member
It's very subjective and you should do what makes you happy and comfortable.

It's not always about wealth vs relationships. At the time we moved away, jobs were scarce in my then husband's field and our move was a necessity to secure his job. It did not ruin my relationship with my family. On the contrary, they were proud of us and the life we were building, and the time we did spend together was precious.

But that was the way I was raised. When my Dad discharged from the military after WWII, he took the opportunity to further his education and start a career in an a new field - television (yes it was "new" at that time). There were few television stations around and he moved away from the coal mining town where he was raised. He was doing what his parents had hoped and why they emigrated - to have a better life. We spent a couple of weeks visiting every summer.

If you have a career that is transportable and you feel that you want to be physically closer to your family - I say go for it since you are feeling unsatisfied.

If your career dictates that you stay put, don't feel guilty. There are many ways to enjoy your family. Meet and vacation together. My son used to fly out to visit his grandparents in the summer - he had a special relationship with them that they were able to build during those times.
 

Matt

Administrator
Staff member
One thing that is very hard to do is to let go of what you have and start over. The network, the income, the [whatever] is irreplaceable, and all that. But when you let go, and follow your heart (or your gut) big things can happen.

When I first left home, it was after college and I moved across the world, from small town Wales to Texas. I left behind me family and friends. That job turned into one of the most amazing jobs anyone could ever ask for. Perks, position, pay, mindblowing.

I quit that job for a girl (my wife now) and we moved across the world again, to Japan. I left behind family and friends. I had no job when I arrived, and after some interviews landed something that paid me about 500% more than the most amazing job ever.

I quit that job, and left behind friends again as I moved to New York, and started something that pays me less, but feels perfect.

I always left jobs before I peaked, always feeling when I look back now that I could have made more from those things, but now I'm in a place where I can build my own life, and job, and I don't have to chase the money, the networks, or anything. If I want family, I move there, if I want career, I move there.

You'd be amazed at how resilient you can be, and how insignificant the things that worry you are. Follow your heart, and your gut.
 

Craig

Level 2 Member
One thing that is very hard to do is to let go of what you have and start over. The network, the income, the [whatever] is irreplaceable, and all that. But when you let go, and follow your heart (or your gut) big things can happen.

When I first left home, it was after college and I moved across the world, from small town Wales to Texas. I left behind me family and friends. That job turned into one of the most amazing jobs anyone could ever ask for. Perks, position, pay, mindblowing.

I quit that job for a girl (my wife now) and we moved across the world again, to Japan. I left behind family and friends. I had no job when I arrived, and after some interviews landed something that paid me about 500% more than the most amazing job ever.

I quit that job, and left behind friends again as I moved to New York, and started something that pays me less, but feels perfect.

I always left jobs before I peaked, always feeling when I look back now that I could have made more from those things, but now I'm in a place where I can build my own life, and job, and I don't have to chase the money, the networks, or anything. If I want family, I move there, if I want career, I move there.

You'd be amazed at how resilient you can be, and how insignificant the things that worry you are. Follow your heart, and your gut.
It's a good point - "letting go" was something I was much better at when it was just me. Now that I have a long-term girlfriend/future wife, it's like my natural inclination is to resist change as opposed to the way I used to accept it head on when I was single.

Thanks for the words and sharing your experience. Very insightful and helpful.
 

MickiSue

Level 2 Member
Supporter
I'm on the opposite end of the equation. One of my kids lives in Italy, one in DC, one in SF. Only one lives nearby.

But we make do. Nearly weekly, Daughter and I Skype, with Grandson spending more or less time in the frame, depending on whether or not he's busy playing. I text a lot with Youngest, in DC, and supplement with FaceTime. Oldest Son spends a lot of his time working or traveling around northern CA, so probably see/talk to him and his wife the least.

But he's always been fairly independent, so it's unlikely that we'd see a ton of him, even if he were here.

I work for myself, from home. So I can take three weeks and spend them in Italy, or convince Husband to take a long w/e in DC. We can use his vacation time to visit, and, because Daughter is self-employed as well, anywhere she can use her Surface is a place she can earn money. Her husband is a teacher, and they, therefore, can spend a long time here.

As a parent, I miss my kids. I really miss my grandchild. But, as my kids were growing up, we lived on the opposite side of our metropolitan area from the rest of my family, and the cousins are more acquaintances to my kids than they are friends. Frankly, though, I was always one of the youngest cousins in my extended family, so MY cousins, even though we saw them more often, weren't that close, either.

Live, no matter what your choices, will have trade offs. I encouraged my kids to do what made them feel fulfilled, and make a difference in the world. They have, and that's the best that they can do, IMO. No matter where they are doing it.
 

TheBOSman

Moderator
Staff member
I wish I had moved to Austin sooner. Like, years sooner. Admittedly, I was best prepared to move when I did, and it might not have worked out sooner. But, it has worked out spectacularly now moving here from Massachusetts.
 

Panache

Level 2 Member
I did move far to attend college and then graduate school. Which meant I only got to see my family 1-2 x/year. No big deal in the beginning but then my mom fell ill and the distance made things very complicated. I could not take time off (and she did not want to share all of her condition with me, I learned later). I had sed time aside to go see her in 2 weeks, and I was going to call her the next morning to tell her that, but she died that night, 4 months after I saw her for the last time.
 

MickiSue

Level 2 Member
Supporter
That is so sad, Panache. But even if you live nearby, similar things can happen.

When my mom died, I was the supervisor and only employee in a claims department at a small reinsurance broker's office. Sunday morning, as my kids were still sleeping, I was in the office, trying to tie up loose ends, as Mom was near death, and I wanted to be able to be gone as much as needed.

I thought that if I got to the hospital by noon, I'd be there in time for a last goodbye.

Dad called at 11:30. She'd just died. Why wasn't I there? The work could have waited for me to get back. And Mom couldn't.
 

Keeton

Level 2 Member
My story is one of chasing a dream. Not to long ago I graduated with a 3.8 from a top 25 college in Pittsburgh. I didn't quite have too many options though because I never had an internship. My college was very expensive so I needed to work every summer to be able to afford to go. Anyways, I graduated and didn't have as many options as I thought so I ended up working in a restaurant with a degree in Public Relations, Physics and a minor in Econ (weird combo I know). A few months went by at working this dead end job and I realized that I wouldn't be able to afford my loan payments. I decided I was already in over my head, might as well take a vacation to Colorado to see my college friends before I'm homeless and jobless (i'm exaggerating here). I went out there and was talking to my friend way to much about how my stocks were doing good, really good. My friend who worked for a startup out there told me they were looking for a few people with financial knowledge to possibly intern. I went home a few days later, transferred my restaurant location to one in Colorado and moved out 3 weeks later. I brought about two bags of clothes and my hunger to succeed. The internship went well and I was hired full time about 2 months after. I do miss home, but I didn't leave much behind. I miss the weather more, not the humidity or anything but the days when it occasionally rained all day. That may be weird but its really all I miss haha
 

redrps13

New Member
Moved from Oklahoma City to Phoenix for a job promotion with a top 25 tech company (I was with them for 10+ years; I'm originally from Seattle).

I was offerred a moving package, 50% increase in salary, signing bonus, stock options, and plenty of room for growth within the company. We left after a year and half to move back to OKC because we missed family so much. 5 nephews all under 8 years old and we didn't want to miss out on that.

We don't regret it at all and would do it all over again. It really just depends on what you value more in life. Sure I make a heckuva lot less than I did from my previous job, but I'm perfectly happy with what I have now.
 

stron

Level 2 Member
Been away from family since I was 17 for school and work. That's one of the main reasons I try to collect points, so that my family and I can visit each other. No regrets, but hoping to spend more time together as time goes by and people age.
 

strikeone92

New Member
I went to school about 14 hours from home, so that was a big hurdle for me (new friends, new place etc.) I think that you have to make the most of these kind of situations and be open-minded and willing to make new friends and embrace new experiences.

Collecting points sure does help visiting friends and family much more affordable and feasible, so that helps!
 

Billiken

Level 2 Member
Since 1993 I have moved (twice within the U.S.).
Both times were for significant career advancement ($).

No regrets.
 

PNW-MSSER

Level 2 Member
Moved across the globe to come to the US, miss family a lot, try to get points so I can go the 24 hour distance in comfort or they can :)
 

Newgene

New Member
I find as I get older, my wife is really the only friend I hang out with anyway. It's not deliberate; it's just what happens when you get busy. I'll give you an example. My siblings/parents live 4 minutes and another an hour away. We maybe see each other once a quarter for an hour or so. I know that sounds bad. However, if I lived 100o miles away, I would probably see them about as frequent, but likely for longer durations. If your fiance is good with living anywhere, go where the career and quality of life are.

The other side is that I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about where you're going to be later. Things change. I wouldn't assume where you are now is going to be where you retire. It also sounds like your current location is very enjoyable to you, especially if it aligns with your environmental/social/political views. I know I wouldn't put myself in a place I was uncomfortable for much longer than I had to.

My vote would be to continue to build the life for your immediate family where you currently reside, and definitely don't worry about it. If you retire young enough, you can go wherever, for however long you want.
 

R.R.

Level 2 Member
I missed this thread the first time around, but as a fellow Seattlite, I must second all the positives mentioned about this place.

My parents were both born here, and I was raised here. I've lived elsewhere twice (for school), but have always returned -- have always yearned to return, despite the great (& terrible) experiences I've had elsewhere. I need the water to the west of me, and no other place on the west coast feels like home. Luckily, my large extended family (and that of my Spouse too) have all chosen to remain in the Seattle area (or at least Washington state), so we've all had the best of both worlds. I love to travel and see the world, but I know I can never live anywhere else.

For several years, my parents have talked of retiring to Reno, to be near all of the classic car events there. They've since retired, but various family and health issues have delayed their move -- all the while my siblings and I have done our utmost to dissuade them from moving away. Sure, we and they can visit, but there's nothing like being close in proximity, especially as end of life approaches.

(I also want to second the book mentioned earlier:
The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing by Bronnie Ware)
 

The Ikonik One

Level 2 Member
I'm originally from Texas and I moved to Colorado as it was a better opportunity for my wife to grow professionally. I missed my family but I didn't feel too much the need of having them around since we were able to visit about twice per year, until sickness struck our family. 2 of my kids were hospitalized at the same time and as many friends as you may have in time of need suddenly you realize that you really don't have that many friends just your family. That's when I took notice of the importance of being not to close but not to far away either. You should definitely look out for securing a better future for your family but also know that no one will care for you more than those that have cared for you since the beginning. My 2c!
 

Sesq

Level 2 Member
My family is in NH and I am a corporate nomad. Since college I have worked in Dallas, Maine, DC area, Boston, Harrisburg PA and now, recently Houston. I have floated back to near NH a few times and especially with friends there is an element of "you can never go home". You find that the relationships shift over time and you can't harbor any expectations.

Living away from family can put you out of the loop at times. My brother and sister are local to my parents and keep an eye on the day-to-day of my parents. I travel back 2-3 times a year and make it a priority to foster a relationship for my kids and my family. Being further away has meant I don't see my cousins much and that relationship has atrophied a good bit.

We also travel around to see my wife's family who are a bit scattered. It can be a pain since it means we don't spend as much time at our house around the holidays (Christmas morning is non-negotiable though). Professionally it has been worth it and I like the variety. In retirement I don't see us moving back to NH or DC (my wife's family home base), but you never know.
 

Craig

Level 2 Member
It's been a little under a year since I started this thread. This community has provided great insight, and all of your stories bring a very human level to this forum.

My fiance just received a FANTASTIC offer that will relocate us to St. Petersburg, FL, complete with a 25% raise while moving to a significantly lower cost-of-living area. The offer is good enough that I can focus on developing the business plan I started last year, but was not in a situation to implement due to our geographic uncertainty. It also will give me the freedom to network, grind, and figure out the local economy without pressure of needing to immediately generate profit.

It puts me an hour north of my family's vacation home, and an hour and a half from my brother and nephew. The idea of being able to spend quality time with family for shorter, more frequent periods throughout the year instead of cramming everything into an emotionally high (and low) one-week period annually makes me happy to the core.

If you're in the Tampa Bay area, let me know!
 

billygoat

Level 2 Member
Im from SW Florida - You'll love the weather. Congrats on the raise. And the cost of living in StPete is pretty good, combined with no state taxes, you'll be sitting pretty. You'll learn to hate the love bugs and mosquitos, but love the sunsets. Good luck!
 

Seeme

Level 2 Member
Personally, I joined the military right out of High School back in 2010. I grew up in a very rural area, so it was definitely a culture shock for me, but I'm glad I moved away. I learned a lot about myself, and grew up quite a bit. I ended up getting out last year, and now have a fairly high income. I've started investing in real estate back in my home town area, using my brother as a property manager, so I've been able to maintain relationships with my family, and I still visit family a few times a year. I do believe that I have sacrificed relationships with family and childhood friends, but the increased income will allow me to retire much younger than if I had of stayed in my home town.

So, for me I think the sacrifice was worth it, but I know that others would not feel that way. I have quite a few family members that do not understand my choices at all.
 

Suzie

Level 2 Member
Personally, I joined the military right out of High School back in 2010. I grew up in a very rural area, so it was definitely a culture shock for me, but I'm glad I moved away. I learned a lot about myself, and grew up quite a bit. I ended up getting out last year, and now have a fairly high income. I've started investing in real estate back in my home town area, using my brother as a property manager, so I've been able to maintain relationships with my family, and I still visit family a few times a year. I do believe that I have sacrificed relationships with family and childhood friends, but the increased income will allow me to retire much younger than if I had of stayed in my home town.

So, for me I think the sacrifice was worth it, but I know that others would not feel that way. I have quite a few family members that do not understand my choices at all.
Good for you for doing what is best for you. And don't let anyone make you feel badly about your choices.
 

DrAwesome81

Level 2 Member
I was born and raised in Texas, DFW area, but I went to college in New York state. Four years away took some getting used to, but after that I came back determined to remain there, near my family. Went to grad school in DFW, finished up and took a job with the largest medical device company in the area. Figured I was on the path to a long career and I was all set.

Fast forward only one year, and I was submitting my resignation due to a terrible manager and a company that was circling the drain. There aren’t many other med device companies in the area, and with that bridge burned, I was forced to look elsewhere. Two years ago I ended up moving to California for what turned out to be an incredible opportunity.

I wish I could have been closer to my family, but I also know that I need to allow myself the opportunities that will give me more freedom later. Not sure what the future holds, but as I work my way up the ladder I have more and more freedom to travel back home to see the family regularly, and maybe one day I can find a position closer to home again when my skills and experience are more in demand.

No regrets.
 
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